Its so easy to start to see people through their illnesses and this time, even though I know him, my dad surprised me.
I always try my best to not to speak to him like you speak to the elderly or small children, because he isn’t there yet, even though sometimes I can tell he might struggle with my speed or to understand what I said (because I only assume it takes a while of it all to sink in for him) I still try and talk to him like you would do a normal adult.
It was a summer garden party in the care home, and I knew already he wouldn’t want to go but me and Elliot went down (little later in the day than we would like) to see him so that even if everyone else and their family were there, he wasn’t just by himself.
It took us an hour to find him. An hour. He is still so independent and was off out and about, and to add to that he can’t answer his phone. It’s because if the fancy way you have to slide buttons over or to the centre to answer, not a simple button (that’s another rant for another time.)
Now I do have to track on his phone, that’s also another story. But we were trying to follow this tracking for an hour and let’s just say it clearly didn’t work as he was never where the gps said he was eventually I had seen he must have got on the bus and got off by the coast, so we hot footed it down there and there he was walking down the beach.
I also have this uncontrollable urge to just hug him and squeeze his face super tight, especially when it has taken me an hour to track him down!
He said he was not bothered about the party which started an hour ago at the home so we went for a litte drive up to the military graveyard at the top of the hill which we went in our second vlog. Furthermore 3 people in a 2 people car is a debacle so it was a bit of a taxi service, but the view of the bay was astounding in the nice weather. We then had a bit of a walk but said we will have to go back to the home now.
The get to the point of where he surprised me, we got to the home and sat in his room for a bit but we said why don’t we go outside. He kept making the point that if people want to sit and get drunk let him but that’s not what he does. We sit ourselves down and everyone was like ‘oh John! Lovely to see you, how have you been? Enjoyed the day?’ And he was the life and soul of the party from that point onwards. Working the crowd, making jokes, making sure he spoke to everyone and that they were ok and then came and sat down with us.
It was so nice to see, and as much as he might be anti social with me sometimes, he does love just being with peoples and the banter, and it very memorable. I say anti social with me because he will let his guard down, and tell me how he is feeling, and it’s not always the cheery happy John you see when he is with other people. But I am so thankful he can be himself with me, and always has been.
It made me realise one thing. As much as I would love to care for him, he still has people around all the time where he is, who he can talk to and be with and if it was just me and him it would be the constant effort needed to make sure we are both social and out and about with company. And the home he is in is great from what I can see, so I am happy about that as there are so many which are just awful 🙁
Oh and he has never really acknowledged Elliot, I have never said we are together but went around saying ‘ yeah I have just been out with my daughter and her boyfriend.’ As he would say, he isn’t soft ;p
But it was just lovely to see him do his thing, make people laugh and just makes you realise as much as he is slower with certain things in not understanding and stuff like that he is still the same old John, and he can work I room I tell ya 😉