Herbert Protocol – you NEED to know about this

Just seen this and I think it’s a brilliant idea! Please check this out if you have a loved one that would be considered as vulnerable (especially with dementia), and maybe a bit of a walker!

I have in the last 3 days seen at least 3 different news articles about men with dementia that have gone missing and it’s so important to be sensible and prepare for these kinds of instances.

As my father still has some independence, and how his diagnoses came about when he went missing for a night. I will certainly be filling one of these out and sending it to his Home.


-Why is it called the Herbet protocol?

It’s called the Herbet protocol after a war veteran George Herbert. I tried to find out more information about him but it looks like he died while tried to look for his childhood home. And the exact reason to have something like this set in place, and what a way to honour him having this protocol named after him.

 

-What it includes

Background information about name, do they have a GSP tracker?
Physical description
Medical history
Life history such as favourite places and tracks to walk, how they like to travel and how well they can walk etc. 
Family info and contact details
Missing now section for when/if they do go missing

It also says to include an up to date photo which is a very good point. I only say this because there is hardly any photos of me and my Dad before his diagnoses.  Make sure you make record of the times you have together and have a recent photo not one of them looking 10 years younger. Both for them and for you.

 
-Why does it matter?

The stresses of trying to think of everything in the heat of the moment is a real thing. The accompanying information and documents do say ‘It can be completed in slow-time’ meaning we should take our time to fill it out to its most complete.

It is the most heart-wrenching experience to realise your love one is lost and couldn’t have any idea where they are, what they are doing or how to get safe. Anything we can do to be prepared is helpful and necessary.

 

-Reservations about the whole thing?

Will it even work? Can it be given out too soon?

Can it be given out too soon? Can it be called too soon that he is missing?

Can it be called too soon that he is missing? Should we call him missing once we have looked in the usual places?

Should we call him missing once we have looked in the usual places?

How far should we look and how long a time when they clearly missing? My fear is maybe the home with this information may be premature?

My fear is maybe the home with this information may be premature?

Personally, I would want to be known straight away as probably one of the only other person who goes out wandering with him and knowing where he likes to go. What I wouldn’t want is the home to take it to there own hands as there might be light I can shed. But then again I guess this is why this is in place and so important to be filled out!

 

To see the official post by the Met Police with further information and the copy of the document for you to fill out yourself see below:
https://beta.met.police.uk/notices/herbert-protocol/

And the phone calls are back!

I am relieved that he is showing signs of being able to use a phone again?

Or is it the mean of me because he is frustrated not being able to answer the phone?

As I am typing this I can literally hear him say the numbers as he thinks he is typing on his phone ‘Emily, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…’

And I am sat here saying as many variations of things as possible, like ‘Hello, father, can you hear me? ‘ and ‘Cooieeeeee??’

So I take that back, I am sad he is calling me again because as I say hello down the phone as loud as I can in the office he really can’t hear me. It’s frustrating for us both.

There’s no rule book here, and it will only get worse, but is this a good or a bad sign? Its been months since this has happened, it used to happen several times a day?

-PS this is my LITERAL thought process over the last 5 mins, from brain to blog in 10 mins flat 😉 –

Alzheimer’s + Dementia in the news… Missing Grandfather

So I see a lot of stuff in the news, so I thought I would put my 2 pence into the equation and talk about it, start the conversation on what is being put out there, helpful or not.

Picture taken from the is the original article from ITV below:

http://www.itv.com/news/granada/2017-08-09/police-search-for-tameside-grandfather-who-has-been-missing-for-two-weeks/

Now, this would be my worst nightmare.

My heart fully goes out to everyone in this situation.

And I really really really hope that he is somewhere safe.

2 weeks is a very long time. From what I see in the news this one is up there being one of the scariest and very realistic nightmares for anyone, with dementia or not.

This man is the age of my father and rings true for how he ended up in a hospital, thankfully it was over the space of a night and not 2 weeks.

What I want to know is what are the police actually doing? There must be SOME kind of lead out there via CCTV or his usual places. I would assume they have checked hospitals, night shelters, but what actually are they doing?

Also, why is he described as a Grandfather? He must have a child to have a grandchild, is it to pull on our heartstrings, because it should pull on them anyway!

In the video, it looks like he is walking a dog, but it’s not mentioned in the article. I would have always thought people more often than not can recognise dogs at the very least. An old man walking down the street is one thing, but with a cute dog? Maybe that’s for more of a dog person way of thinking but I am just so shocked, and actually horrified this man hasn’t been found 🙁

Now reading between the lines this brings up questions that anyone who is close to someone with dementia will have. Can it be safe to let them still live their lives independently? This man has probably walked that way so many times before, with and without dementia no doubt. Should we be locking people away for their own safety? Or always with them just to make sure they are ok?

People with dementia are still people, and I know from my fathers experience in an EMI care home it was heartbreaking to hear how truly angry and depressed he was for them not letting him go out even for a walk by himself, or in the garden without someone with him or looking over him from the house. However do not get me wrong, I can see every reason why he shouldn’t be left alone, but is there a middle ground?

You can never actually tell on first glance of someone if they need extra help or guidance in some way as it’s an unseen illness which just makes the whole idea even harder to grapple with.

Should this be an example to family members to be tighter with their loved ones on their independence, or should we sadly take this as what will happen, and on rare and very sad occasions turns into a situation like this?

Seriously I want to know what people think about this, it’s a hard one!

 

 

 

Mini Oxford Trip Vlog!

I am currently in Paris with work, and thought whats best to do with my evening other than edit videos 🙂

And I completely forgot about the videos we took on our way to Shift which was the weekend directly before I started this Job.

Myself, a few of my house mates and Elliot all rented a car to come to this festival, but in renting a car we wanted to make the most of it and stop somewhere.

So feel free to check out what we got up and some of the nice bits of Oxford. It was a fly by visit, no longer than 2 hours and then we headed off to Shift!

The plan was to vlog shift, but as it was my first time going I didn’t want to try and vlog to much, as I would have to use someone else’s phone and I would rather just get stuck in and enjoy my time. But it was a brilliant weekend and I will definitely be going back.

And this is also my first time trying Imoive 🙂 So be nice yeh!

With my new job which I love, I have been given a work Mac Book Pro and also I have so far spent as much time in Paris as I have done the London office. I am so thankful for how my situation has changed! I read a cheesy line somewhere that the Lord only takes away to give then go and give you more and better (or something along those lines). And it couldn’t be closer to the truth.

So enjoy our little escapade before Shift and keep your eyes peeled for more Travel footage from Portugal coming VERY soon, once I have mastered this Imoive malakary…

Its so easy to see people through their illnesses…

Its so easy to start to see people through their illnesses and this time, even though I know him, my dad surprised me.

That cheeky face of his though!

I always try my best to not to speak to him like you speak to the elderly or small children, because he isn’t there yet, even though sometimes I can tell he might struggle with my speed or to understand what I said (because I only assume it takes a while of it all to sink in for him) I still try and talk to him like you would do a normal adult.

It was a summer garden party in the care home, and I knew already he wouldn’t want to go but me and Elliot went down (little later in the day than we would like) to see him so that even if everyone else and their family were there, he wasn’t just by himself.

It took us an hour to find him. An hour. He is still so independent and was off out and about, and to add to that he can’t answer his phone. It’s because if the fancy way you have to slide buttons over or to the centre to answer, not a simple button (that’s another rant for another time.)

Now I do have to track on his phone, that’s also another story. But we were trying to follow this tracking for an hour and let’s just say it clearly didn’t work as he was never where the gps said he was eventually I had seen he must have got on the bus and got off by the coast, so we hot footed it down there and there he was walking down the beach.

I also have this uncontrollable urge to just hug him and squeeze his face super tight, especially when it has taken me an hour to track him down!

He said he was not bothered about the party which started an hour ago at the home so we went for a litte drive up to the military graveyard at the top of the hill which we went in our second vlog. Furthermore 3 people in a 2 people car is a debacle so it was a bit of a taxi service, but the view of the bay was astounding in the nice weather. We then had a bit of a walk but said we will have to go back to the home now.

The get to the point of where he surprised me, we got to the home and sat in his room for a bit but we said why don’t we go outside. He kept making the point that if people want to sit and get drunk let him but that’s not what he does. We sit ourselves down and everyone was like ‘oh John! Lovely to see you, how have you been? Enjoyed the day?’ And he was the life and soul of the party from that point onwards. Working the crowd, making jokes, making sure he spoke to everyone and that they were ok and then came and sat down with us.

It was so nice to see, and as much as he might be anti social with me sometimes, he does love just being with peoples and the banter, and it very memorable. I say anti social with me because he will let his guard down, and tell me how he is feeling, and it’s not always the cheery happy John you see when he is with other people. But I am so thankful he can be himself with me, and always has been.

It made me realise one thing. As much as I would love to care for him, he still has people around all the time where he is, who he can talk to and be with and if it was just me and him it would be the constant effort needed to make sure we are both social and out and about with company. And the home he is in is great from what I can see, so I am happy about that as there are so many which are just awful 🙁

Oh and he has never really acknowledged Elliot, I have never said we are together but went around saying ‘ yeah I have just been out with my daughter and her boyfriend.’ As he would say, he isn’t soft ;p

But it was just lovely to see him do his thing, make people laugh and just makes you realise as much as he is slower with certain things in not understanding and stuff like that he is still the same old John, and he can work I room I tell ya 😉

Reactions

I went to a vlogging event the other day, I never got the chance to write about it then and there but it was VERY interesting thinking back on it to the reactions to what I say my channel and blog are about.

Why do people blog anyway?

Why would someone go all that trouble to put their lives on the internet through a blog or videos? I can’t answer for everyone of course but for me, it started when I like being nosey at everyone else online through youtube, I love having a good nose because who doesn’t.

Then I realised my dad had Alzheimer’s and started spending a lot of time with him. Spending more time with him just made us closer and at least I feel like we turned into a little double act, days out and seeing his behaviour and memory decline.

I wanted to be able to record this and seeing the reaction from people out and about to him, was a whole mixed bag of emotions. So I really wanted to make my own little impact to address both those things. Document for me and if I can help shine a light for others about what Alzheimer’s is, all the better.

So what happened when I tell people?

 

Blank stare – What does that even mean? lol

When I was at the event, the main thing is a bit of a blank stare.

-normal beauty blogger kinda person- ‘So what do you blog about?’

Me- ‘oh, my father has Alzheimer’s and I try to vlog with him.’

I mean bless them what do you say to that? In which case I know it may sound a bit awks so I make sure to reflect it back onto to them. ‘What do you blog about?’

 

Understanding and justifying

Some people seemed, well I wouldn’t say excited but did see what I was doing. They would say ‘Oh that’s really cool’ or ‘yeah I get that, that must be really interesting’. And then it was a bit of a conversation killer. A few of the girls were actually really nice, we actually had a conversation about it, a little more than a sentence or two but it was still clearly something that was uncomfortable for them and not something that lines up with that they do.

 

Sad realisation

In reality is it a very sad thing that is happening to my father and in turn the effect on me. And it’s a downer, I can be a Debbie Downer. But I assure you I try my best not to be, it’s more the topic, not me is a very sad thing

 

 

So what’s next for me?
So in relation to all this, I want to be able to show the diversity. I can’t just have all my spare time and my interests being surrounded by this one very sad and important impactful part of my life. I am a normal girl living in London and other things shape my life.

So when it comes to content you see from me, the most important content to me will be about my Dad and Alzheimer’s. But there is more to me as a person and what I can create that is also important and also shapes me and my time. My faith with is of vital importance to me and my father. My travels, food, friends, and documenting all the ups and downs that go along with that.

So if you have got this far, get ready to see more from me 🙂

 

End of an era!

So it’s the last day at my current job! Boo Hoo!

But I am going on holiday tomorrow, an I’ll be honest it is overshadowing my last day a tiny bit as I am so bloody excited 🙂

But basically look how cute and thoughtful my leaving present was! Watch this space as this may become my new logo 😉

 

I have really enjoyed my time here, met some great people but it was time to move on to new adventures, and that’s life! When I started this job, within the first few months every kind of shit hit the fan with my Dad and this job and all the guys here have been very supportive and flexible and I couldn’t of asked for a better support from my team so massive thank you for that guys <3

 

On another note I also got some new goodies so get ready for my vlogging game to step it up!

Massive thankyou to Manfrotto who inspired me with this gear after the Manfrotto Masterclass event last month, and when I come back from my road trip get ready for all the goodness that will be my Portugal road trip! Woop Woop! See the links below to the product pages.

https://www.manfrotto.co.uk/shoulderpod-pocket-rig

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rode-VideoMicro-Compact-Camera-Microphone/dp/B015R0IQGW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1498238459&sr=8-1&keywords=Rode+VideoMicro+Compact+On+Camera…

https://www.manfrotto.co.uk/pixi-mini-tripod

If any guys from my work click on this and read this far, Hi! I love that you are this nosey and add me on Facebook, I am due a massive house party and your invited 🙂

Lots of love guys and see you all soon after my holiday :):)

Life Update

I do not class myself as a good writer and only come to it when I feel like writing something. But it has been ages, and a lot if happening.

So I have given myself until the end of the month to find a job. I had got offered one, that was then the company retracted the offer after handing in my notice at my current job because I had a holiday booked. Yes, I could stay but I know I am ready for new challenges and want to throw myself wholeheartedly into doing that while I have given myself what some would say an impossible deadline, less than 3 weeks.

There are never ending issues and drama around the house we are in with the landlord and estate agent. And my heart drops every time we get an email.

And I haven’t heard from my dad at all now, for a few weeks via the phone. I think it’s fair to say he just can’t use it as a phone anymore, never mind a camera. And London is hard if you don’t live within your means, and for various reasons including my dad, i haven’t lived within. And now I can’t afford to see him.

Elliot bless his heart came down with me the other weekend in his car and I did film a video, and it was certainly eventful, so I might leave that story for another occasion.

And on a very final note. I hope you voted today guys!!!!

A year ago today…

 

So Facebook has come up with a photo from a year ago of when we first moved my dad into the care home and one of our first walks out.
It’s so nice and it’s true how photos transport you back. But I can’t believe it’s been about a year. I can’t say there is a better time frame of how long ago it felt like when it all happened but adding a time frame at all just made me think of the ticking time bomb that is him slowly losing his shit.

If I remember correctly on this day we went for a walk and the weather was starting to get really nice and we had sat down on a bench. I will keep saying it this but I feel like a proud parent all the time when I am with him, trying to take nice photos of the children at whatever moment you can. Because it’s all about grabbing the nice moments when you can and theses photos have a very real use every other time I see him. For distraction or a conversation starter, but that’s a whole other topic for another time.

So I look at photos like this and chose not to remember those harder times, it’s so much nicer to go oh wasn’t this a nice day and a nice picture when really you know all that day he was asking me how he got down there, he thinks it’s the police that dragged him down and he tells me he wants to come back to Birkenhead and have his own place. So a mixture of all sorts of things that simply did not happen or can never happen, and you can’t truly explain why either.

But I am still so glad I take as many photos as I do, I almost want to take more but then I am sacrificing a more nature flow of conversation and time spent with him. But the best advice I can give is to keep hold on the nice moments, make a record of them as you are going to want them later, and they will come in handy I promise!

Lazy, semi fat girl, scared of heights perspective of walking up Snowdon

Let me tell you about my perspective as a lazy, semi-fat, scared of heights girl of walking up Snowdon and the path I took.

I thought I have done this before in school and it’s something people do right? Those outdoors people and I don’t need a map as there will be loads of people doing it too. Now from what I have seen of different paths, I did want a bit of a challenge. So we decided to take the Pyg path up and the Miners one down.

We planned to go on the Sunday of Easter weekend but it pissed it down and we decided it best to make the crazy decision on going on the Monday then driving back to London straight afterwards.

We get there and the main (very small) car park was obviously full so we needed to do the park and ride. Pointer- Make sure you take loads of change for the machine and the bus.

So it takes around 6 hours, and we started walking at 1, that was enough time to park and get bacon and egg butties at the café (it was ok, not the best I have had) before we made a start.

You can tell straight off the bat that the nice slopping path of the Miners track to the left looked a tad easier to start but hey hoe let’s go.

Instantly starting regretting my decision in the talking to myself kinda way. But the views from the start of the path where already nice looking down the valley. But basically, it’s like walking up some very large steps that are slightly uneven on the way around.

Then you come around the corner to a lovely sloping flat path of the mountain side where you look down to the lake where the Miners path is. Nice little brake from those ‘stairs’.

Then it goes back to being a bit of a walking up stairs to no stairs climbing (if only I had taken some photos!) And I say that but there are always places to put your foot and hand to grab onto stuff but it’s what you would expect a mountain side to be like. There was one part that was a pretty flat steep decline with a lot of water flowing down that you had to somehow find a way across for but there were places to steady yourself to get across.

For me, the person who hardly exercises anymore, I did get a little pink in places and I was rather slow. At the time you pass a lot of people on the way down as they started in the morning, including families with very small children which felt a bit mocking as I huff and slowly puff my way up. Then you get those people who find running through the mountains as fun and just sprint past you. Yep, that’s a thing. But then you do get loads of cute dogs, that are all a bit too wet to stoke but still, they are cute.

As you come further around its where you saw the steep uphill climb of Miners that joints the Pyg track. However on the way around the weather weren’t great and we starting entering into a lot of clouds. Oh, and of course for a short spell, it snowed on Snowdon. As it started getting higher and higher, visibility was very limited.

And let me fess up, I didn’t make it to the top this time.  Am terrified of heights and the picture doesn’t do this justice but as it was so cloudy and there was quite a big drop right next to this rock I had to climb over. And nahhh, that was not happening. I made Elliot go up though as we were 10 mins form the top, and bless him he tried to get me to climb it, said it flatted out straight after. Then again there were some pretty sheer drops even after that and with the cloud cover, it was impossible to see anything. Furthermore, my brain did run away from me saying that I would be one slip away from sheer death. How joyous.

So I sat and waited a little while, and when you stop still in a cloud it gets cold quick, then he came back and he didn’t see anything because we were in a cloud. Figures. And it’s all about getting down from here.

I thought this would be the worse bit as there are some pretty big drops that we climbed up to get up there, but my arse became my friend and I just sat and slid down where I could. It did roughly take us 3 hours to get to the top, and I thought it might have been quicker on the way down as it was just the steep bit and then walking flat around the lake. We did stop here and there, and if you are not looking ahead enough, you find you are just looking for the next place to pop your foot and sometimes missing a very obvious path which is easier.

I remembered the rock being the point where the two paths cross and we made our way down the Miners path. As we left it quite late, I was irrationally worried as I saw no one walking up the same time as us, just loads of people walking down, but by the time I got to the bottom of the lake it was fine and still a very bright day. It was quite nice an peaceful as it was only us and another family and it felt like we had the whole place to ourselves.

As you carry on walking around the lake, the sun came out and sod’s law that the peak was clear with no clouds, but there you go. As it winds around quite a lot and it was just us and this other family, for large portions of it, it really was just like it was me an Elliot. The flat walk around the lake was lovely in and of itself, wouldn’t even really need to start climbing the hard bits if you just fancied a nice walk out.

Then we get the car park and realise why it was so quite. Because the last bus we can get is at 7.30 and it’s now 7.45. Apparently, taxis cost £30 to come out and pick you up, and an hour to walk down a winding and dangerous road to the car park. Don’t forget, we had to drive back to London too.

We actually starting walking down but another group of people in the same situation as us hitch hiked with someone from that carpark down to pick his car up and then the rest of his friends. They kindly offered to give us a quick lift to as it was really very close in a car. And that my friend was the end of our Snowdon drama/experience. And it’s safe to say next time ill just get the train but cba doing all that again. 🙂