From the radical right to radical left, how the phrase ‘Behind every great man is an even greater women’ has been used in radically different ways.
Floor length denim skirts, beret hats and long sleeves T shirts with a Kings James bible in hand, this cult-like fraction of Christian religion from my early teens has given me fond memories and strong biblical knowledge, but a heck of a lot to unpack.
‘Behind every strong man is an even stronger woman’ I first heard in the context of describing Ian Paisley’s Wife at the bible conference they created every year, to which my Father and I were regular patrons. A sentiment I couldn’t agree with more at the time, but also felt misplaced in an environment where women were not allowed to preach, had to cover their heads and from what I saw just serve everyone else including popping out children, seen but not heard vibes.
But here they were, praising women, but the truth and benefits behind the sentiment were not reflected in the culture or behaviour. Even then I witnessed how women around me go out of their way to support people, mostly men, to enable them in whatever they want with very little in return.
Seeing the constant work of women around me to placate men, as a torrent tidal force that has become the universal truth, do we need to accept this as a way of living? A phrase once touted as a bold and positive statement is actually an incredibly sad truth with devastating implications.
I don’t want to shit all over men, but in my experience we have a long way to go to counteract the society level, culturally ingrained assumptions, not just for feminism but for racism, being intersectional and intergenerational, and women are leading the way here. So men, we want you to get onboard this train too yeh!? But it’s going to be uncomfortable and takes sacrifice.
On a more personal note, I am thankful for every version of myself, as they have got me here, with wildly differing opinions and growth on the daily. I still have so much more to learn and experience but I want to normalise it being ok to grow, change, and change your mind as you go. I am trying to make that space for myself as I decentralise men in my life, in my thinking, and allow space for more, more community, relationship and vulnerability.
Can we work towards a world where women are truly valued for the work they do, that men start to take on their fair share so women can also have space carved out for them to flourish, it will be to the benefit of everyone, I promise! We want strong men and women working together, not one being propped up at the other’s expense.
PS it was this Tiktok that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me to want to write this right here, right now.
